Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
