I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
