apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
