why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
