I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
