i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
