Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
