so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
