i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
