so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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