he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
