And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
