rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
