i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my shit smells like andre
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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