Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
