he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
