New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
