Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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