Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
