The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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