Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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