I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
