Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
