So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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