This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
