I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
