four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Still dying that you shit outside
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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