How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
