Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My breasts were aching with rage.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
