please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
