I'm gonna have a badass scar
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
