I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
