she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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