Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
