Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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