And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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