He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
