So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Drake has all the answers
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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