New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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