Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
