Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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