you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
