dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize