im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm always down for nudity.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
