I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize