I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
