I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize