He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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