He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
