I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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