I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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