The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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