Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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