I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize