But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
