I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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