We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize