So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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