garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
