if i can run in heels then i can drive
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What did we do last night that was yellow?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize