So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
