I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
